Beauty 🤝 Function
5 tips for creating a kid-friendly home without sacrificing what you love
During my brother’s senior year of high school, he and his classmates were tasked with a reflective project: to look back on your life thus far, and detail your childhood experiences and each member of your family.
When discussing the home in which we were raised, he hilariously wrote:
“If one of us fell down the stairs and screamed, my mother would rush not to check on our cracked skulls, but to see if we’d issued any damage to the 18th century table at the bottom of said stairs.”
Sorry, mom - but, yeah. Kind of.
My childhood homes were beautiful. My mom has always had a knack for taking something ordinary and making it extraordinary - from food to parties to home design. Within a week of moving in, she’d have art hanging on the walls and styled silhouettes throughout as if they’d been there forever. Her homes have, quite literally (and deservedly) been in magazines.
While we were never told explicitly to avoid one room or another, my fear of breaking something was certainly omnipresent.
When my own children came along, though, and played aggressively with her stunning Herend Collection, she merely winced and put them up on a higher shelf.
Still, though, hers is not a home in which to roughhouse.
For the most part, though, I am pleased to say that we kept things in one piece. And when we didn’t… she certainly showed us grace.
All that to say, when envisioning my own parenting journey, one goal stood out in my mind: I didn’t want any rooms in my home to be “off limits” to my kids. That’s not to say that I didn’t want it to be beautiful, I just wanted it to also be functional.
Despite what some may say, I really do feel strongly that these two can go hand-in-hand.
Sure, things I love have been broken by my children, and will continue to be. But, there are a few lessons I’ve learned along the way that have kept things (mostly) in one piece, or have prevented what could’ve been a lot more tears.
1.) Shop second hand, when you can
Surprising coming from me, eh? (Sarcasm, of course.) I think shopping second hand is preferable for a host of reasons— primarily, affordability and durability. (It’s also better for the environment - an added plus!)
Affordability:
In many ways, shopping secondhand is more affordable than buying new - especially when purchasing from places like Facebook Marketplace or yard sales. This excludes, of course, fine antiques and collectors items. It also means that, when something undoubtedly gets spilled or broken or dinged, it isn’t as bitter of a pill to swallow, because you didn’t break the bank buying it. Plus, a bit of patina or scratches can add to the character of a piece.
When we moved into our new home, I had my heart set on a pull out sofa for our play room. I envisioned my children watching movies on a Friday night, popcorn spilling onto the floor, and memories being made. This dream quickly disappeared when I found that said sofa would run me about $3500.
$3500 for something I know that my kids will spill drinks on, and my bulldog will undoubtedly smush her face all over? I’ll find another dream, thanks.
That is, of course, until I found a fabulous, $300 pull out sofa on Facebook Marketplace that checked every box.
Does it get dirty? Yes. Do I panic when it does? No. Not because I don’t value it, but because I know that I didn’t have to take out a loan to buy it.
Same goes for dishes, vases, art, and other decorative pieces. I’m less likely to cry over broken china if I found it at Goodwill, versus if my grandmother gave it to me.
Durability:
You and I both know that, by and large, vintage furniture outweighs (quite literally) newer furniture. Whereas particle board and MDF dominate today’s market, vintage items are more likely to be made out of solid wood (even if they have a nicer wood veneer on the outside) and, therefore, much more sturdy. Read: they’re more likely to withstand family life, and last a whole lot longer. What’s not to love?
Contrastingly, new items that are solid wood are either significantly more expensive, or, wholly unavailable.
Even non-wood items, like wicker or iron patio furniture, are worth their weight. Not sure if it’s old/good quality? Lift it up. If it’s an easy lift, it’s likely newer or not as nice. If it’s heavy, on the other hand, you’ve found yourself something special!
2.) Embrace IKEA and its many hacks
A bit of a 180 from my previous point, eh? Hear me out:
Sometimes, affordable, durable secondhand furniture isn’t easy to find. Some of us — ahem, people who aren’t me — don’t spend all day on FBMP looking for treasure.
While IKEA is unlikely to be something I’ll hand down to my kids, it’s certainly a helpful bridge (and can be a canvas for transformations that, frankly, most wouldn’t believe.)
In our last house, we had $1000 to renovate our primary bathroom. Though it felt like a meager budget for a giant undertaking, I’m pleased to say that we came in under budget, largely due to the help of IKEA.
We’ve also used their slipcovered sofas and chairs in our previous house, because… SLIPCOVERS. Just don’t dry them fully before putting them back on. Ask me how I know.
Not only did we use IKEA in that house, we also have it in our current house.
In our playroom, we took this IKEA Hemnes dresser and covered it in peel and stick wallpaper. (Similar linked.) Just across the room is our favorite toy storage piece. (Though, word to the wise: opt for the plastic baskets over rattan. Rattan looks nicer, but falls apart easily.)
In our bedroom, I really wanted these Serena and Lily bedside tables. Alas, $3,000 (EACH!!!) wasn’t in the budget. Instead, we got these $99 Kilberget dressers from IKEA and covered them in this peel and stick wallpaper. We added cut glass to the top, and — voila! A beautiful alternative for less than 1/10th of the price (literally).
Will they last as long as a vintage piece? Almost certainly not. But, when vintage simply isn’t available, IKEA to the rescue.
3.) Give yourself an insurance policy
Not literally. But, there are a few things you can use ahead of time to help things stay put.
Scotch Guard: I spray everything with this stuff. Rugs, pillows, curtains, seat cushions, upholstered furniture - if it’s a high-traffic fabric, it’s getting a spray. It’s not entirely fool-proof, but makes spills more likely to bead off rather than sink in.
Museum Putty: I got this tip from a friend several years ago, and DANG, it’s a good one. Just a dab of museum putty can save that lamp from being toppled by a Nerf dart.
While I wouldn’t recommend this trick for families with toddlers or super young children who are actively looking for things to break, it certainly adds a bit of stick for those of us with older (albeit, still feral) children.
It also helps keep paintings and art from slipping/tilting along walls.Rug Tape: I would also recommend this rug tape to keep your kids (and yourself) from slipping and tripping on a wayward rug.
4.) Familiarize yourself with the best cleaning supplies and hacks
Let’s be real: something is going to get spilled. It’s just life.
Here are a few things I love to use when things are looking dire:
Miss Mouth’s - Disclaimer: this really only works on berries. But if, by chance, your child has brought a handful of blueberries to your pale green sofa and left them for you to sit on, Miss Mouth’s is your best bet. I keep this in the laundry room as it’s most-often used for clothes, but it’s a big help
Vinegar and Baking Soda - Something stinky? Spray some vinegar. Alternatively, sprinkle some baking soda on it and lightly vacuum it up.
Little Green Machine - Yes, it really does work. I’ve used this on rugs and upholstery with great results.
Dawn Liquid Soap and Power Wash - This is my first line of defense for rug spills.
Folex - When Dawn doesn’t cut it, I bring out the Folex. It’s not always successful for me, but when it is, it’s pretty miraculous.
5.) Remember that it’s their home, too
This may be the most important one of all. That goes a few different ways, in my opinion.
Give them lots of grace
When something breaks, there’s a good chance you’ll be upset. But there’s also a good chance that they’ll be upset about it, too. It’s easier said than done, of course, but try to remember that things are just that: things. They’re not people.
It reminds me of a lyric from one of my favorite songs, Brandi Carlisle’s “The Mother.”
“She broke a thousand heirlooms I was never meant to keep.”
My children have broken things that I cried over, but maybe I wasn’t meant to keep them. Even when it’s hard, I try to remind myself in those moments how lucky I am to have a house full of children to break those things, rather than an empty house full of perfect objects.
Give them a sense of responsibility
I’m a big proponent of chores and responsibilities for a number of reasons, and one of them is that if my kids feel pride about their home, they will also feel a sense of responsibility.
Now, I’m not expecting my kids to polish silver and scrub toilets, but I do expect them to make their beds, put away their clothes, and do other age-appropriate chores. For my older boys, that could mean folding clothes or helping clean up the yard. For my younger kids, that looks like watering plants and feeding the animals.
Engaging my kids in tasks that help keep our home running not only keeps the house more functional, but helps them grow up to be good humans. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.
Give them the freedom to play
I want my kids to feel like they can use our home in the ways that suit them. So long as they aren’t being destructive, I don’t really care if they slide down the stairs, or color at the table, or set up a giant marble run in their rooms. If they need to borrow some Tupperware for a drum set, have at it. If they want to use some dining room chairs to build a fort, be my guest. Just clean it up when you’re done, please.
While marrying beauty and function in a house full of kids can feel overwhelming, it doesn’t have to be. This list certainly isn’t exhaustive, but hopefully, it gives you a renewed hope that these two things can co-exist.
Try to remember that the old ladies in the grocery store are right: they really are only little for a short while, and one day you’ll miss the chaos and the mess. Jury’s still out on that one, but that’s what I keep hearing.
Did I miss something? Let me know below!
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As always, thanks for being here!